Sayings That Should be on Buttons
Sayings That Should be on Buttons
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
- Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
- Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
- Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
- Do I look like a freakin' people person?
- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
- I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- You! Off my planet!
- Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
- Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of
self-control.
- Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
- Oh, please - let me drop *everything* and help you with your
request.
- If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes
on my
cat.
- Does your train of thought have a caboose?
- Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
- And just how may I screw you over today?
- And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
- I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
- See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
- Better living through denial.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after
them.
- I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
- Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
- I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
fallen
asleep yet.
- After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
- Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
- Back off! You're standing in my aura.
- I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
- Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
- Adults are just kids who owe money.
- How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
- I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave
the
house?
- I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
- I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
- You say I'm a bitch like that's a bad thing.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
- Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the
earth.
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch
me?
- I plead contemporary insanity.
- And which dwarf are you?
- I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
- I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- It ain't the size, it's... no, sorry, it's the size.
- Meandering to a different drummer.
- I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
- I don't suffer from stress - I'm a carrier.
All contents of The Computer Show are Copyright © 1998 Joppa Computers
